Reinvention

From Carpe Chaos

Reinvention

Treaty date:		Xotron 1264
First published on:		September 6th, 2010
Race(s) featured:		Porgs
Pages:		23
Chapters:		1
Illustrated by:		Daniel Allen
Written by:		Ted Anderson Jason Bane

Comic

Title

Reinvention (Official Title)

Porg Inventor (Working Title)

Flight (Tentative Title)

Reinventing (Tentative Title)

Summary

Setting

DATE: Xotron 1264

Location: The recently-discovered Porg planet of Karlan

Major locations

Beside Juljak's pool Juljak has a pool chair that he sits in most of the time: cup-shaped, with curved arms. Surrounding this should be a very tall (for Porgs) wall, with palm trees and such peeking over the top.
Juljak's workshop Bits of ships and a few of the kids' hovercrafts, some half dismantled, some on their sides with their fans exposed. his lab is set apart from his house, connected but not the same structure. Connecting the workshop to the house is the...
Trophy Room Sort of a hallway leading into the workshop, where Juljak keeps projected news stories, certificates, maybe models of his inventions. Most of this stuff is very dusty: Juljak doesn't have a lot of visitors, and doesn't spend much time looking at it himself. At different times in the story, we'll be seeing different groups of framed news stories.

Atmosphere

This is a mostly humorous story, with some small hints at Juljak's past as a weapons designer and him trying to make amends for it. Generally warm colors, with maybe some contrast between the bright, wide-open outdoors (around his pool), the bright but sterile workshop, and the dark, oppressive trophy room.

Characters

Juljak dal Drogun. An older Porg, always looks cranky and angry.
Doerlus. Juljak's personal assistant/lawyer/accountant/etc. Basically, he handles everything for Juljak.
Nightmare General. This isn't really a "character": it's an amalgamation of all the various people that have exploited Juljak and his designs over the years that shows up in Juljak's dream. As such, he needs to look threatening and evil from the get-go.

Objects

The Chaos Gun. This was Juljak's biggest invention, a personal, hand-held weapon he developed. We won't actually see it being fired at any point in the story, but the gun itself needs to look very sinister and threatening. This is a weapon that does a lot of damage; it's not a nice thing to have around.
The flyboard. We'll be seeing this device at various stages of development, from initial prototype to finished device. The final hovercraft should look like a disk that is flat on the bottom, about 6-8 inches thick, and the center of the top surface should sink slightly in the middle (like a super-shallow bowl) so at the middle it is only half-thickness, like 3-4 inches. This is to help the Porgs stay on it. Make it so an adult Porg could fit on it, but a younger, smaller Porg fits on it more comfortably, like it's built for teenagers. It has two handles, like pipes or something, coming out of each side and then at the top bending toward the back, like upside-down Ls, so a Porg on this thing can hang onto both handles (with one or two limbs on each handle) like ski poles. The hovercraft device is like an air-snowboard with handles.
The hover mechanism. At the beginning of the story, the hoverbuggy that drives over Juljak's estate has a few small circular mechanisms on its undercarriage, each one slightly larger in circumference than an adult Porg. These mechanisms are inefficient and need to be mounted on a large vehicle—like the hoverbuggies—in order to work. Juljak comes up with a number of innovations and improvements which make these mechanisms much more efficient, so that rather than needing to be installed in a vehicle, they can be turned into one-Porg vehicles: the flyboards. If these new mechanisms are installed in a hoverbuggy, the end result is an extremely power-efficient, zero-emission vehicle. Thus, there need to be two distinct versions of the hover mechanism: one seen at the beginning of the story, and Juljak's improved version. I'll put together some sketches.

Background

Script

Ted has provided potential experimental page layouts and panel breakdowns for this story, just to give an idea of how it might work:

This layout gives up a page count of 23 pages, but can easily go a few more.

Opening Scene With Those Darn Rascal Kids

PAGE ONE

Silent page: Juljak relaxing in or by his pool, staring up at the sky. A home-made, cobbled-together, harpoon-gun-like device rests on the ground next to him, but not prominently. (This gun needs to not look like a professionally made weapon. It needs to look homemade, cobbled together out of junk, something he put together in his spare time—not a real weapon used for war. It'd be nice if it didn't even look like a gun. Maybe it looks like some kind of pool cleaning equipment.) He looks grumpy at first, but as he sees some birds (or Karlanian equivalents) flying by, he loosens up. But then, just as he's finally getting comfortable...

PAGES TWO AND THREE

...a bunch of hot-rodding punk kids drive overhead in two hoverbuggies, laughing and screaming and their crappy hoverbuggies spewing disgusting black smoke.

Passenger (mocking): Hey, Jul-jerk!

Juljak (angry, shaking a balled-up large tentacle): That's Juljak, you disrespectful brats!

Passenger (pretending he can't hear Juljak even though he is very close): What's that? We can't hear you all the way down there, Jul-jerk!

Juljak (to himself): Got you this time, you nuisances!

In the frame he says this, Juljak picks up the harpoon-gun from the ground next to him. He points it at one of the two hovercars and pulls the trigger. A harpoon with a magnetic attachment tip fires out towards the car and...

PAGE FOUR

...attaches to the undercarriage; there's a cable attached to harpoon, and the other end goes down to the device. The machine next to Juljak starts reeling in the "harpoon."

Driver (surprised): What th'— I can't steer!

Kids panic, other car draws near, kids jump into that one to save the kid in the car that is now tethered to the ground and being reeled in. It needs to be clear that all of the kids are in the other car. We don't want the reader thinking that Juljak is responsible for any deaths or injury, but it should be unclear whether he would care if the kids are hurt. At least show the one kid getting in the other hovercar, and the other one already in the back seat.

PAGE FIVE

Juljak settles back in his chair and tries to relax again.

Juljak (annoyed): What's the point of owning half an island if the other half is filled with idiots?

Explosion off-panel as the car crashes (slight lighting change, but not much because it's daytime). A piece of the hover mechanism, scorched and bent, rolls over and bumps into Juljak's chair. He picks it up lazily and glares at it.

Juljak: And those hoverbuggies—nuisances! Noisy, disgusting nuisances! Inefficient power-hogs, poorly designed...the engineers should be shot! Someone ought to build a better one!

Juljak drops the hover mechanism. He starts to relax again, then suddenly starts up and grabs the mechanism again.

Juljak (make this panel less funny and more serious. he should still look grumpy): Hm.

First Conversation With Doerlus

PAGES SIX AND SEVEN

The "camera" now moves around inside Juljak's house. Sound effects of machinery, noisy work. Maybe some scattered dialogue of Juljak shouting at his robots. Camera pans over the walls, and we see newspaper clippings, awards, certificates, etc. describing Juljak and his fabulous inventions. Paper newspapers aren't still in use so they should look more like website print-outs or document print-outs, or those LCD picture frames that cycle through pictures.

Sample headlines: INVENTOR JULJAK HONORED BY COMMANDER-IN-CHIEF TRAMMUL [picture of a younger Juljak getting a medal]; INSIDE THE MIND OF JULJAK: MEET THE INVENTOR WHOSE DESIGNS DRIVE THE USG MILITARY [a Newsweek-style profile article]

Sample awards: Order of Tourgal: Awarded to Juljak dal Drogun in Xotron 1231 by the Faculty of Arbucktan University for Contributions to the Field of Engineering; Progress Day's Inventor of the Year, Xotron 1249

There's also a glass case containing a full-sized model of the gun he invented for IntOrd, with a small plaque on the front of the case: "The Chaos Gun, invented by Juljak dal Drogun in Xotron 1251."

Camera finally moves into the workshop, where Juljak is hard at work on duplicating the hover mechanism: inspecting his charred version from multiple angles, taking it apart piece by piece, looking at it with a microscope that outputs to a window of his Porg PC, etc.

at the bottom of the page 5, show Juljak in his lab from the hallway that has the awards or something. establish him in his lab from another room of the house.

Juljak (small text, muttering to himself): Imbalanced magnetic field...inertial regulation nodes arranged in a concentric pattern... power distributors...

Call comes in on his PPC. It's Doerlus. Take advantage of the conversation to show Juljak continuing to work on interesting-looking things with other interesting thing in the background while he talks. He should have a few droids around. Doerlus should not be shown except through the porg pc screen.

Doerlus (slightly angry, slightly surprised—he didn't expect Juljak to go nuts like this): Juljak! Can you explain why I'm hearing about a hoverbuggy crash on your estate?

Juljak (annoyed and crotchety—Doerlus is interrupting his inventing time): Nobody's hurt. Besides, they were trespassing! They can't sue me!

New panel: now we're in Doerlus' office as he talks to Juljak through his own PPC. He's shuffling through open PPC windows like they're papers on his desk.

Doerlus (no longer angry—he's reassured that Juljak hasn't gone insane, he's just his usual grumpy self): (sigh) Well, the families are trying to press criminal charges. They say you're a threat to the neighborhood...

Juljak (getting more annoyed at Doerlus' interruption): Stop complaining! I can cover it, can't I?

Doerlus (still enumerating all the problems that will result from Juljak's "outburst"): Not to mention the media will jump all over this. "Retired weapons designer targets kids!" Do you really want a story like that all over tomorrow's news?

Juljak (reaching his limit of annoyance): So bribe them! Don't I pay you to get people like them to leave me alone?

Juljak turns off the phone, hanging up on Doerlus, and goes back to experimenting.

First Experiments

PAGE EIGHT

Juljak has hooked up one of his larger droids to his first prototype. The droid sits on top of it.

Juljak (speaking for the recording) (make some small window from his Porg PC appear to his side with some porg characters and a red dot (and perhaps a microphone icon) to signal that he is recording his voice): Juljak personal hover device, first prototype.

Juljak (in a new bubble): Droid one, activate.

Droid activates the prototype. It explodes, scattering flaming debris everywhere. Juljak is hit with a small piece of debris from his droid that is now only debris, and it sits there sticking out of his slime somewhere around his neck. He is unhurt, and the piece of debris is small, but it should be a funny moment.

Juljak (calmly, for the recording): First prototype: total failure.

More tinkering, experimenting. Next device test, with a similar-looking (exact same model?) droid, similar-looking prototype device. This time, Juljak is behind a waist-high (for a Porg) wall, to protect himself from another explosion.

Juljak: Juljak personal hover device, second prototype.

Juljak (in a new bubble): Droid two, activate.

Droid activates. Brilliant flash of light, that fills the frame and obscures what's happening in the test, Juljak is covering his eyes. When the light dims, Juljak looks up: there's the droid and hoverdevice, stuck in the roof.

Juljak (more frustrated this time): Second prototype: partial failure.

PAGE NINE

Montage of several different devices blowing up or malfunctioning in various ways: flying sideways, bouncing across the table, melting into a puddle, hovering down through the floor into the basement, etc. (Maybe have small tags at the bottom of the panels: Prototype three, Prototype Seven, Prototype Ten, etc.) Juljak doesn't look any angrier through this section, but his brow furrows deeper and deeper in frustration as the experiments keep failing. Finally:

Juljak (punching keys on his PPC): End today's experiment session. [new bubble] Nice to know I can still fail like I used to.

Juljak turns to go. As he does, we see there's bits of exploded machinery sticking out of the goo on his back, making him look like a hedgehog. (Maybe show this in the same panel as the second line in the above dialogue.)

The end of this scene should be at the end of an odd-numbered page if possible, so the next scene starts on a new spread.

Juljak's Dream

PAGES TEN AND ELEVEN

Nighttime. Establishing shot of Juljak having a nightmare: tossing and turning, grumbling and mumbling in his sleep. He begins having flashbacks to his days of inventing weapons: designing things that kill, things for the sole purpose of killing. He was praised for his work, but still has nightmares about the horrible things he created.

Note for artist: Porgs don't use beds with blankets and pillows. They sleep laying on their faces on the ground in a soft area, generally at, below, or only slightly above ground level.

Maybe have a quasi-montage/mural of Breydolans and Porgs, half-burned or melted (I know the Chaos Gun doesn't actually cause them to melt, but this is a nightmare, after all), surrounding Juljak, stretching their arms/tentacles up towards him. Maybe rising out of the ground, zombie-style? Maybe the ground itself crumbles away around Juljak, so he's standing on a little pillar of rock? We can get pretty crazy in this sequence.

The Nightmare General appears out of darkness, coming towards Juljak. He holds something in one tentacle, but the reader can't yet see what it is.

Nightmare General: Look at what you've created, Juljak. [new bubble] They'll remember your name forever: [new bubble] Juljak, the bringer of death.

^----

Juljak.
(new frame)
Look at what you've created, Juljak.
(new frame)
Look what you've created.
(new frame)
They'll remember your name forever:
(new frame)
Juljak, the bringer of death.

----

Juljak finally looks and is seized with terror, but the audience is not shown the object, just Juljak's reaction.

Then Juljak breaks down, covering his face with his wiry tentacles (or claw hands, or large tentacles), while the General laughs. The object in the General's hand is revealed to be the Chaos Gun, just like the one in the glass case in the Award Room.

Juljak (beginning to cry) (split into connected or disconnected chat bubbles): No. No. It's not yours...

Juljak looks up at the weapon, and then, filled with a sudden determination, jumps toward it and shouts:

Juljak (filled with desperation, almost screaming, trying to stop the weapon from doing whatever diving toward the gun. "can't" is emphasized because he fears the consequences of using it): No! You can't use it!

At this point, the gun starts merging with the Nightmare General. Over the next few lines/panels, the General starts growing, sprouting weapons and horrific cybernetic bits from all over until he's an enormous, freakish conglomeration of goo and weaponry. For inspiration, look up Tetsuo's transformation in the manga Akira, or the anime version.

Nightmare General: But it must be used, Juljak. [new bubble] You made it to be used.

The General points the barrel of the Chaos Gun, still recognizable amidst all the goo, but much larger now, at Juljak.

Nightmare General: And it isn't yours any longer.

The gun fires a thick red beam, forking and spitting like a bolt of lightning, at Juljak. (The beam itself needs to look evil, if possible. Consider putting eyes or other evil premonitions in the wisps of energy around the beam.) The beam should be larger than Juljak's body. As he gets hit, he wakes up screaming, with one image blending into the next without a panel gutter between them. The scene should end with him screaming or finishing screaming and looking stressed and "sweating" in his bedroom.

Dream sequences resolve some of the tension of the story, since the stakes seemed really high, but it turns out they aren't high. We should have one of the prototypes sitting conspicuously in Juljak's bedroom at the edge of the scene to remind readers where the tension in the story remains.

Doerlus Visits the Lab

PAGE TWELVE

Doerlus comes in person to Juljak's estate to check up on Juljak. Doerlus is surprised to see him inventing—Doerlus thought Juljak had given it up after all his time designing weapons. Doerlus is willing to support Juljak's new inventing—Juljak's already rich, it doesn't matter either way, so long as he doesn't get sued any more than usual.

This conversation takes place in Juljak's lab again. This time, Doerlus is there in person and cannot be hung up upon.

Show Doerlus walking to the lab, and as he approaches, show these darker newspaper clippings on the wall or in small accompanying panels:

IntOrd STOCK SOARS ON ANNOUNCEMENT OF MAJOR GOVERNMENT CONTRACT [sub-headline] "Chaos Gun" expected to be adopted by Planetary Corps within the year [picture of several Porgs, Juljak among them, in a press-conference-like event]

ETHICAL WARFARE GROUPS PROTEST AWARD FOR JULJAK [this article is accompanied by an image of the Chaos Gun, the weapon from Juljak's nightmare]

SABOTEURS TARGET IntOrd FACTORY [picture shows graffiti on wall: "JULJAK'S FAULT", "SAVE LIVES—KILL JULJAK", etc.]

PROTESTERS DISRUPT JULJAK'S TESTIMONY BEFORE PARLIAMENT

Artist, if you show Doerlus's expression as he passes these darker newspaper clippings it should be one of sadness, as if Doerlus is thinking, "Why does he have these up? Why does he torture/punish himself by reminding himself of the negative parts of his past like this?"

PAGE THIRTEEN

In the workshop, make sure it looks like Juljak has been very busy. His lab should look a little different from the last scene. More stuff piled around that looks related to his work, like more scorch-marks maybe, and definitely more prototypes (maybe at least one busted) and some parts scattered around that weren't before.

Doerlus (not surprised at there being a crater outside Juljak's home): You should really tidy up. There's a crater in your front walk.

Juljak (distractedly): That would be prototype twelve.

Doerlus picks up one of the failed prototypes, or part of one of the mechanisms, that's laying on the floor and looks at it quizzically.

Doerlus (mild sarcasm): You know, most inventors stop inventing after they retire.

Juljak (very nastily and emphatically, Doerlus now has his full attention): What're you saying? You think I'm all out of ideas?

A pause as Doerlus picks up another failed device and examines it.

Doerlus (he doesn't answer Juljak's question—he's used to Juljak's grumpiness): Who hired you for this?

Juljak (turning away, back to his inventing): Nobody!

Doerlus (confused): Then...who are you making these for?

Juljak (not looking up, getting annoyed): Those nuisance kids!

Doerlus (even more confused): You're helping the kids you tried to kill last week?

Juljak (even more annoyed): No, I'm helping myself. These'll cut down on all that damned smoke and noise. Maybe then I can get some peace and quiet!

Doerlus (resigned): Uh-huh. Call me when you need the patents written up.

Doerlus is focused on the money: he's an accountant/lawyer, after all. Juljak just cares about the inventing.

As Doerlus walks away, Juljak shouts at him without turning around. Panel arrangement: we are looking over Doerlus's shoulder with Juljak behind him, in the distance.

Juljak (correcting Doerlus in a last-second defense of himself): And I wasn't trying to kill them!

Juljak's Field Test

PAGE FOURTEEN

Juljak drags a large, flat disc—his first full-sized prototype—outside by his pool. The prototype should look very similar to the final device, but just a little bit less finished: rough edges, visible welds and seams, etc. The underside, the 'visible' part of the hover mechanism, should look similar to the hover mechanisms in the hoverbuggy in the first scene, but different: a more complex arrangement of lines and circles, with a bright glow of an odd color.

A couple of the neighborhood kids have dragged themselves up to the top of the wall around Juljak's estate and are peeking over to shout at him.

Kids (mocking): Hey, Jul-jerk! Looks like you forgot the rest of your car!

Juljak (waving them away): It's Juljak! And get outta here!

The kids don't leave, but don't say anything more. Juljak ignores them and gets down to business: he carefully gets onto his flat prototype.

PAGE FIFTEEN

Juljak presses a button on a PPC screen. Some small sparks or little arcs of electricity flicker around the edges as the device powers up.

Juljak (small, to himself): Okay, okay... Nodes one through three powering up...

Kid one (to kid two): What's he doin'?

Kid two (shrugging, or the Porg equivalent): Don't ask me.

Slowly, the hover device rises off the ground. It's wobbly, and Juljak nearly falls off, but he rights himself in time.

Juljak (still to himself): Stabilizers working... Virtual gyros active...

It's working: the hover device rises, and keeps on rising. The kids are dumbfounded.

Kids (in unison, genuinely impressed): Whoa...

PAGE SIXTEEN

Juljak falls off the disc and onto the ground (with a Helmut-like splash, but less extreme), sending the disc sailing into the wall that the kids are sitting atop, where it explodes below the kids, knocking one of them off. Kid still on the wall turns to fallen kid (who is visibly unhurt, but dazed) and says:

Kid 1: You okay?

Juljak turns to the droid he brought out with him and says:

Juljak (not giving even one shit about the kids that were nearly hurt by the explosion, smiling a little for the first time in this story): It works! All it needs is a handle and it's finished!

(With a handle it will be sort of like an air surfboard that you can hang onto.)

If there's room, after Juljak gets up, we see one of the Porg kids running away, saying:

Kid: I'm telling mom! She's gonna sue you again!

Final Touches on the Prototype

PAGE SEVENTEEN

Juljak makes some final modifications to his prototype hover device in the workshop. Doerlus, on a PPC call again, is looking at Juljak's projected figures on the new hovercraft.

Doerlus (incredulous, looking at the figures in his PPC windows): Th-this is unbelievable! Zero emissions! And the power consumption—is this figure right?

Juljak (proud, maybe a little smug): Not bad for a retiree, right? [new, connected chat bubble] The figures are correct. You could run one of them on a standard battery for a decade. It'll be a perfect toy for those kids. [more quietly/smaller font] And the patent is mine this time.

Doerlus (getting more excited as he thinks of the possibility): Toy? Are you kidding? It's the latest in personal transportation! The price point's a bit high, though...

Juljak (no longer smug, but disappointed in how much they will cost): Taking into account materials, labor, equipment and facilities: 200,000 credits per unit.

Doerlus (from off-panel): Conservatively.

Juljak: Unfortunately, all that efficiency is pricey. [separate bubble, small text; he's thinking out loud] Maybe if I integrate the altimeter circuits with the gyro system...

Doerlus: Regardless, with the right marketing we should be able to sell them at any price. Half a million apiece? A million?

Juljak (looking up, surprised): A million?

Doerlus (not hearing Juljak, continuing on): Why not? Why not more? You're holding all the cards this time, Juljak. You own the patent, not any employer. These new hover devices are yours, and nobody can—

Juljak (interrupting): But if they're so expensive, how can kids buy them?

Doerlus (getting more excited about the potential): Forget about the kids—everybody's going to want one! Just think of the potential—maybe you'll finally make enough to buy the other half of the island! [noticing Juljak looks down, maybe new frame] What's the matter? You always wanted to be in control of your inventions.

Juljak smiles weakly in response.

Doerlus (keep the focus on Juljak in this panel): This is it, Juljak: your big second chance!

End scene.

Juljak's Introspective Sequence

PAGE EIGHTEEN

Silent page(s): Juljak wanders the halls of his very large house, looking at the framed news stories and certificates, etc. Maybe some from the previous two times in this story are shown again for consistency. But then he looks at a section of the wall in the same hallway with framed headlines that aren't at all positive towards him (a third wall section).

The following headlines should be presented in chronological order, as 'panels' in a sequence, explaining what happened to Juljak's career.

INVENTOR JULJAK SPEAKS OUT AGAINST EMPLOYER INTELLIGENT ORDINANCE, CLAIMS DESIGNS WERE WEAPONIZED AGAINST HIS WILL [sub-headline] Vows legal action against former employer [Juljak looks older in this image than he did in previous images, showing that he did this late in his career]

JULJAK SUES IntOrd FOR WRONGFUL DISMISSAL, PATENT OWNERSHIP [sub-headline] IntOrd denies all accusations

IntOrd PAYS 7.8 BILLION IN WRONGFUL DISMISSAL SUIT TO FORMER EMPLOYEE [sub-headline] Ownership of "Chaos Gun" patent remains in dispute [Juljak wading angrily through a crowd of reporters and droids, trying to get away as they try to ask him questions]

FORMER INVENTOR BUYS HALF OF MARMAL ISLAND ON KARLAN, VOWS SECLUSION [sub-headline] Juljak: "No comment" on future plans[the front gate of Juljak's estate, with the gates very firmly closed]

Juljak idly traces a small/mini tentacle along one of the frames, looking pensive.

PAGE NINETEEN

This might be a good place to show a close-up of the Chaos Gun, emphasizing Juljak's role in creating it. He should look determined in the very last panel of this sequence, in the last panel of an odd-numbered page if possible so the reader needs to turn the page to get to the next scene.

End scene.

Final Scene

PAGE TWENTY

Time skip ahead a few months. The next page should start off with some kind of an establishing shot, maybe showing the sun rising because it is a new day for Juljak.

Visual reference to page one: Juljak relaxing by pool...

PAGE TWENTY-ONE

...kids fly by in a hoverbuggy. However, this time they're being driven by an adult Porg, so it's being driven more stably, without the crazy driving.

This hoverbuggy is new, and slightly different: the undercarriage hover mechanisms look like Juljak's prototype, with the different pattern and bright glow, and the buggy doesn't expel any black smoke, or any kind of emission at all.

Kids (genuinely happy): Hiya, Juljak!

Closer on the pack of flyboards. One of the kids is leaning over the side, and the driver is scolding them in a clearly parental manner.

Leaning kid (maybe teasingly; he knows Juljak doesn't actually have any reason to come with): We're on our way to the youth center for the grand opening! Wanna come with?

Parent (slightly smaller text; in the "background"): Sit down, Bril!

Juljak shakes his fist(s) angrily at the kids.

Juljak (annoyed): I'm trying to relax, you disrespectful brats! I don't want to hang around more of you hellions!

Juljak should seem genuinely annoyed here—I don't want him to have suddenly become a kindly old man—but on the next page he seems more relaxed than before. I want it to be a subtler transformation, that we have to infer to some degree.

PAGE TWENTY-TWO

The hoverbuggy drives off, the kids waving at Juljak as they leave.

Kids: Thanks again, Juljak!

Kids: See you tomorrow!

Juljak settles back down again next to his pool, still looking annoyed.

Juljak (seemingly to himself): I give the League nearly all of my land, and they decide to build that damnable center next door.

Then it is revealed that Doerlus is close by with his Porg PC open. He is doing stuff on his screens, maybe whipping some of them around with his limbs, while also relaxing near Juljak's pool.

Doerlus (to Juljak): The good news is, even after donating your land, your trophies, and most of your fortune, you're not broke. [new bubble] Barely.

Juljak (waving a tentacle halfheartedly at Doerlus): Apparently I can still afford you.

Doerlus (to Juljak, maybe looking at a sort of accounting spreadsheet on one of his screens): It may not be the best decision you've made, financially speaking, but... take a look.

Doerlus "flicks" another of his virtual projected screens over to Juljak with one of his large tentacles, who in turn "catches" it with one of his large tentacles.

Doerlus (as he passes the screen to Juljak, smiling): One for the hall, don't you think?

It's a newspaper article. Once Juljak receives it the headline should not be shown yet. First, Juljak's face should be shown as he reacts to the headline. A very slight smirk on his sourpuss face. He has, in his own way, redeemed himself to himself.

PAGE TWENTY-THREE

The final panel should be of the screen of the Porg PC window. There are two major news stories on this page, both of which need to be fully readable. First story:

FORMER WEAPONS DEVELOPER REACHES FOR THE SKIES [sub-headline] Juljak donates fortune and invention to new youth group

Content of the article is as follows.

Retired weapons developer Juljak dal Drogan, whose high-profile suit against Intelligent Ordinance in 1253 led to the highest payout for an individual plaintiff in history, announced today that he is donating virtually his entire fortune to create the Youth Improvement League. In addition, Juljak is also donating the patent and all licensing rights from his invention, the one-person hover "airboard," to the League. The profit from licensing these devices is expected to keep the League well-funded for the foreseeable future.

The League has opened twelve youth centers on planet Karlan to date, including one on Marmal Island on land donated by Juljak himself. There are plans to open hundreds more over the next decade on other Porg planets. "We hope that our organization becomes an integral part of the lives of youths all over the USG," said League director Firman Rorke.

Although the League is one of many youth-centered organizations, experts are optimistic about its potential [article cuts off here]

Second story:

NEW HOVER DEVICE FAILS TO FLOAT THROUGH SAFETY REGULATIONS

Content of this article:

Juljak's one-person hover device has failed governmental standards for personal safety. Regulators noted the lack of protective systems as well as the potential for high speeds and unrestricted altitude in their report on the device. However, these problems are not a result of Juljak's improvements to the power efficiency and emissions of the basic hover lifter, which are expected to be incorporated into virtually all hover-based vehicles on the market today.

Regulators also noted that the the one-person hover device could be the basis of a new class of sports, as safety regulations are relaxed for sporting use, and the high-performance devices would be [article is cut off]

As a joke or two, perhaps put other links on the page with headlines like:

Can a retired munitions inventor fire up today's youth?

Hoverboard enthusiasts form new hover-sports league

End comic.

Trivia

This is the first Carpe Chaos comic Ted Anderson helped write.